I heard the school bells ring yesterday. I already miss my Grace family, but it gave me pause to think what I would "normally" be doing at 7:55 on a Wednesday. On Wednesdays, I had been watching my friend's girls. We would form a little parade, 9 kids and me, walking through our backyard, across the parking lot and into the school building (stopping to high-five Mr. Hurley and Vicar Walsh on the way in, of course).
This new way of life isn't easy on any of us. Some of us are working twice as hard now, trying to get our normal jobs done and be a teacher for our kids. Some of us are lonely without our usual daily interactions in society. Some of us have to find child for our kids because we are still working outside of our homes. Some of us are missing income and don't know how we are going to make ends meet. Some of us are separated from loved ones at a time when they most need us. All of us have given up something.
I am tempted to be angry. I want to see my piano students. I want my kids to be able to play with their friends. I want to be able to visit my family.
Tonight as I snuggled my baby back to sleep, I remembered a conversation I had with my mom the week before this all started. I was complaining that Gideon only napped in his car seat. He was in it more than not during the day. Now, it's been a week since he's been in it. I have my kids home with me everyday (even if it means a messy living room). We have amazing technology in place so my kids can keep on learning and I can see my family, even though they live all across the country.
Focusing on these amazing blessings helps me. But what gives me peace the most is knowing that God is still God. We just celebrated the amazing freedom we have from sin, from sickness, from worry. That freedom comes from Jesus dying and rising for us.
Maybe I have to give up some of my freedoms right now. But the freedom that truly matters is mine, and nothing here on this earth can change that.
Thursday, April 16, 2020
Monday, June 18, 2018
Thanking God for Godly Men
I see so many posts lately about men. Men who abuse women, men who think highly of themselves, men who abuse their power. I have also seen posts encouraging men to respect women, pleading for men to rule wisely. I have not, however, seen many posts from women praising men, honoring them or encouraging them.
I am not belittling the women (or other men) who have been negatively affected by men. I have personally seen the damage that abuse can cause in a victim's life. But constantly belittling men and accusing them does not fix the problem. We must begin to acknowledge and respect men for who God has made them.
I have been blessed to have many Godly men in my life. My grandfathers both were Christians who worked hard so their children would know about Jesus. I anxiously await the day I will rejoice with them at Jesus' throne. My father brought me to be baptized, taught me about Jesus at home, gave me a Christian education through elementary and high school. He has also passed down to me his love for teaching and music (and a thorough dislike of the extraneous rattling noises coming from my car). My husband leads his family to love Jesus through his own example. His love for Jesus motivates him to work hard to be the best husband, father and teacher he can be.
These are the men with whom I have spent the most time. But there are so many more. My brothers and brothers-in-law are hard working, tackling projects at work and at home and serving at their churches. I have seen many friends from high school who amaze me at the time and care they spend on their children and who are working hard to make this world a better place for those children to live.
Women, we need to stand up. We need to make our voices heard. We need to praise these men, to pray for them, to honor and respect them. We need to work for change that will allow men to be who God made them to be.
I am not belittling the women (or other men) who have been negatively affected by men. I have personally seen the damage that abuse can cause in a victim's life. But constantly belittling men and accusing them does not fix the problem. We must begin to acknowledge and respect men for who God has made them.
I have been blessed to have many Godly men in my life. My grandfathers both were Christians who worked hard so their children would know about Jesus. I anxiously await the day I will rejoice with them at Jesus' throne. My father brought me to be baptized, taught me about Jesus at home, gave me a Christian education through elementary and high school. He has also passed down to me his love for teaching and music (and a thorough dislike of the extraneous rattling noises coming from my car). My husband leads his family to love Jesus through his own example. His love for Jesus motivates him to work hard to be the best husband, father and teacher he can be.
These are the men with whom I have spent the most time. But there are so many more. My brothers and brothers-in-law are hard working, tackling projects at work and at home and serving at their churches. I have seen many friends from high school who amaze me at the time and care they spend on their children and who are working hard to make this world a better place for those children to live.
Women, we need to stand up. We need to make our voices heard. We need to praise these men, to pray for them, to honor and respect them. We need to work for change that will allow men to be who God made them to be.
Thursday, May 10, 2018
There is no magic pill
I enjoy working out. In one series of videos I use, the leader says, "There is no magic pill." What she means is that there isn't a short cut to health and fitness. You have to put in the work, both in the kitchen and as you exercise.
I think we all like to work hard at something. We want people to see what we've done and praise us for our hard work. I'm a little sad when no one notices how clean the floor is or the neat piles of folded laundry put away in drawers.
Sometimes we even want people to see how hard we are working as Christians. We are working to share Jesus' love with more people, we are working to encourage our fellow believers, we are working to lead our children to Jesus. We want people, and even God, to notice our hard work and to reward us for it.
Ephesians 2:8-10 puts it into the correct perspective for us. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
Because we Jesus loves us, we have been given the power to live lives that demonstrate God's love to the people around us.
I think we all like to work hard at something. We want people to see what we've done and praise us for our hard work. I'm a little sad when no one notices how clean the floor is or the neat piles of folded laundry put away in drawers.
Sometimes we even want people to see how hard we are working as Christians. We are working to share Jesus' love with more people, we are working to encourage our fellow believers, we are working to lead our children to Jesus. We want people, and even God, to notice our hard work and to reward us for it.
Ephesians 2:8-10 puts it into the correct perspective for us. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
Because we Jesus loves us, we have been given the power to live lives that demonstrate God's love to the people around us.
Sunday, April 15, 2018
If you want something done right...
(My writing today comes from thoughts I had during our vicar's sermon at church this morning.)
....you have to do it yourself.
I have this thought at least once a week as I clean out and reorganize my cupboards after my children have put the dishes away. (I also mentally apologize to my mom.) My children are in a hurry, or they are too young to understand the sorting and stacking required to fit all the containers in the cupboard. As I stoop to find a container, I think, "Why do I even bother?!"
I have been struggling with my eating and exercise the past few months. As I work with my accountability groups, I set goals each week, only to find myself falling rather short of those goals. I am trying to do the right thing, but I am failing more often than not. I am feeling discouraged.
Sometimes I feel that my health ideals are not worthy of something to talk to God about. But taking care of my body is caring for the gift God has given me. And God does not expect me to do this, or anything else, on my own. He is here.
So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
....you have to do it yourself.
I have this thought at least once a week as I clean out and reorganize my cupboards after my children have put the dishes away. (I also mentally apologize to my mom.) My children are in a hurry, or they are too young to understand the sorting and stacking required to fit all the containers in the cupboard. As I stoop to find a container, I think, "Why do I even bother?!"
I have been struggling with my eating and exercise the past few months. As I work with my accountability groups, I set goals each week, only to find myself falling rather short of those goals. I am trying to do the right thing, but I am failing more often than not. I am feeling discouraged.
Sometimes I feel that my health ideals are not worthy of something to talk to God about. But taking care of my body is caring for the gift God has given me. And God does not expect me to do this, or anything else, on my own. He is here.
So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
Picture Day
Five years ago was my first "Picture Day" as a mom. I clearly remember what my oldest was wearing: an old Phineas and Ferb t-shirt with several stains and a ratty pair of brown sweat pants. I completely forgot that it was picture day until I was picking him up from school, noticing how nicely dressed several other children were as they walked to their cars.
Today was picture day, and my fourth child has the same teacher as my oldest did that year. She's been sending out reminders for the past week, and she made a point to hand me the sheet from the photography company. Maybe she remembers Picture Day five years ago, too.
Thinking back on that day makes me tear up. It takes me to a hard place in my life, a time when I felt overwhelmed and confused. I had a hard time keeping up with a 4 year old, 2 year old and 2 month old, and I couldn't quite tell why. I kept remembering what my mom had told me: after 3 kids, it wasn't so bad. But, right then, it was BAD!
My husband remembers that time, too. He remembers sitting at the dinner table wondering how long it would take until I burst into tears. Would it be a child refusing to eat that set me off? Or would it be a bill coming in the mail?
I was fortunate enough to have someone who cares about me step in. She gently suggested that maybe I had postpartum depression. At her urging, I went to my doctor and got the help I needed.
I'm writing today for two reasons. One is that I think many of us are afraid to talk about our mental health, fearful that it is a sign of weakness. After I was diagnosed and I garnered the courage to tell a few of my friends, I found out that some of them had also suffered with depression. Having someone to talk to who could understand what I was going through really helped me. I think it can help many of us. (This is NOT to take away from a trained counselor, though! Professional therapists have an important role and are trained to help in these times.)
I'm also writing today to help me remember. Some days I forget what it was like in that place I lived five years ago. When I forget, I also may forget to have compassion for someone else who forgot Picture Day or their husband's Work Dinner or to take their child to swimming lessons. I want to remember that day so I can be the friend who is there to listen and offer support.
Today was picture day, and my fourth child has the same teacher as my oldest did that year. She's been sending out reminders for the past week, and she made a point to hand me the sheet from the photography company. Maybe she remembers Picture Day five years ago, too.
 |
| My boy today on Picture Day! |
Thinking back on that day makes me tear up. It takes me to a hard place in my life, a time when I felt overwhelmed and confused. I had a hard time keeping up with a 4 year old, 2 year old and 2 month old, and I couldn't quite tell why. I kept remembering what my mom had told me: after 3 kids, it wasn't so bad. But, right then, it was BAD!
My husband remembers that time, too. He remembers sitting at the dinner table wondering how long it would take until I burst into tears. Would it be a child refusing to eat that set me off? Or would it be a bill coming in the mail?
I was fortunate enough to have someone who cares about me step in. She gently suggested that maybe I had postpartum depression. At her urging, I went to my doctor and got the help I needed.
I'm writing today for two reasons. One is that I think many of us are afraid to talk about our mental health, fearful that it is a sign of weakness. After I was diagnosed and I garnered the courage to tell a few of my friends, I found out that some of them had also suffered with depression. Having someone to talk to who could understand what I was going through really helped me. I think it can help many of us. (This is NOT to take away from a trained counselor, though! Professional therapists have an important role and are trained to help in these times.)
I'm also writing today to help me remember. Some days I forget what it was like in that place I lived five years ago. When I forget, I also may forget to have compassion for someone else who forgot Picture Day or their husband's Work Dinner or to take their child to swimming lessons. I want to remember that day so I can be the friend who is there to listen and offer support.
Saturday, September 30, 2017
Today
Today reminded me of why I started on this journey in the first place.
17 months ago I joined my first accountability group. I wanted to be healthy so I could play with my kids. And I wanted to set an example of a healthy lifestyle for them.
Fast-forward 17 months, and my drive to continue has been wavering, somewhat. I had surgery in August, I got sick just after I got back into working out. My kids have been sick. I'm still not used to my new schedule of piano lessons. All these excuses keep running through my head. "Do I really even want to continue?" I've asked myself several times this week.
This morning, my husband and I committed to each other that, at the very least, we would take a family walk. This would help me get back at it. It wasn't until 3:30 this afternoon that we finally stood our ground (well, actually walked on it), and took our family walk.
The beautiful sunshine and crisp air was the perfect backdrop. Our two oldest rode their bikes. My husband pulled the next two in the wagon. I followed up the rear with our youngest in the hiking backpack.
As we walked, our family decided to follow a new route, which lead us past the playground of the neighborhood school. We decided to stop and play for a while. And as I watched my children, I remembered my why.
Here they were, running, playing, having fun. They weren't inside sitting watching t.v. And my husband and I chased them, pushed them on the swings and watched them try out their American Ninja Warrior skills. Seeing their smiles as the flew through the air, climbed up and down and ran, laughing, away from "The Tickle Monster" brought so much joy to my heart.
Tonight, as I tucked them in, my three-year-old said, "Mama, I had fun today."
So did I.
17 months ago I joined my first accountability group. I wanted to be healthy so I could play with my kids. And I wanted to set an example of a healthy lifestyle for them.
Fast-forward 17 months, and my drive to continue has been wavering, somewhat. I had surgery in August, I got sick just after I got back into working out. My kids have been sick. I'm still not used to my new schedule of piano lessons. All these excuses keep running through my head. "Do I really even want to continue?" I've asked myself several times this week.
This morning, my husband and I committed to each other that, at the very least, we would take a family walk. This would help me get back at it. It wasn't until 3:30 this afternoon that we finally stood our ground (well, actually walked on it), and took our family walk.
The beautiful sunshine and crisp air was the perfect backdrop. Our two oldest rode their bikes. My husband pulled the next two in the wagon. I followed up the rear with our youngest in the hiking backpack.
As we walked, our family decided to follow a new route, which lead us past the playground of the neighborhood school. We decided to stop and play for a while. And as I watched my children, I remembered my why.
Here they were, running, playing, having fun. They weren't inside sitting watching t.v. And my husband and I chased them, pushed them on the swings and watched them try out their American Ninja Warrior skills. Seeing their smiles as the flew through the air, climbed up and down and ran, laughing, away from "The Tickle Monster" brought so much joy to my heart.
Tonight, as I tucked them in, my three-year-old said, "Mama, I had fun today."
So did I.
Monday, August 28, 2017
Learning to "Just Say No!"
I grew up in the 80's when we were taught to "Just Say No!" I didn't learn the lesson. No, I have not experimented with illegal substances. I just haven't learned to know my limits.
I have always wanted to make people happy. I have always wanted people to like me. And so I continually find myself in a situation where I have over promised and am afraid to under deliver. I am beginning to realize that when I do this, I am only hurting the people I want to help.
Yesterday, my devotion (Famous in Heaven and At Home by Michelle Meyrs) encouraged me to write a priority focus statement. Feeling rather overwhelmed last night, I did take time to do just that. This is kind of a personal thing, and I've debated sharing it, but I want you to be able to benefit from my mistakes, and so I am sharing it. (Fair warning, it's long.)
The spiritual and emotional well-being of my family is my top priority. I demonstrate this by being rooted in God's Word and prayer first-only then will I be able to let the Word of Christ dwell in me richly as I teach and admonish my children with all wisdom. I carry this out by being physically and mentally present and involved in the lives of my husband and children first. I will not allow financial gain or service to others outside my family come before the family God has give me. I will work when my children are sleeping or are in the care of another caregiver. I will prioritize time spent with my husband after my children are in bed and will only work when he is working. I will avoid using devices such as my phone and tablet for business or personal relaxation when I should be spending time with my family. I will know I am successfully prioritizing my family when they feel that I am engaged in their lives and when others notice my priority.
I will work to improve my marriage by consistently praying for Matt and his ministry, both in the classroom and through Revelation Sign Studio. I will respect his authority in our family and will be loving and romantic with him and will support him in whatever way he needs. I will know I am succeeding at this when we communicate calmly, laugh frequently and live faithfully to our marriage vows.
I will work with Matt to make sure that our children know that, after Jesus and each other, they are the most important people in our lives. We will commit to date night monthly. We will squeeze in one-on-one time with each of the children regularly. We will turn our devices to silent during meal times and family devotion. We will make going to church as a family a priority every Sunday. We will know we are successful when our children feel safe and loved.
As I went through my day today, this has been in the back of my mind. Did my mom need to write this down? No! Why do I? Because I have demonstrated to myself time and again my inability to learn to say no and put my own family first. I pray that you have no such issue. But if you do, please take a few minutes to think about what is most important in you life and write it out for yourself.
I have always wanted to make people happy. I have always wanted people to like me. And so I continually find myself in a situation where I have over promised and am afraid to under deliver. I am beginning to realize that when I do this, I am only hurting the people I want to help.
Yesterday, my devotion (Famous in Heaven and At Home by Michelle Meyrs) encouraged me to write a priority focus statement. Feeling rather overwhelmed last night, I did take time to do just that. This is kind of a personal thing, and I've debated sharing it, but I want you to be able to benefit from my mistakes, and so I am sharing it. (Fair warning, it's long.)
The spiritual and emotional well-being of my family is my top priority. I demonstrate this by being rooted in God's Word and prayer first-only then will I be able to let the Word of Christ dwell in me richly as I teach and admonish my children with all wisdom. I carry this out by being physically and mentally present and involved in the lives of my husband and children first. I will not allow financial gain or service to others outside my family come before the family God has give me. I will work when my children are sleeping or are in the care of another caregiver. I will prioritize time spent with my husband after my children are in bed and will only work when he is working. I will avoid using devices such as my phone and tablet for business or personal relaxation when I should be spending time with my family. I will know I am successfully prioritizing my family when they feel that I am engaged in their lives and when others notice my priority.
I will work to improve my marriage by consistently praying for Matt and his ministry, both in the classroom and through Revelation Sign Studio. I will respect his authority in our family and will be loving and romantic with him and will support him in whatever way he needs. I will know I am succeeding at this when we communicate calmly, laugh frequently and live faithfully to our marriage vows.
I will work with Matt to make sure that our children know that, after Jesus and each other, they are the most important people in our lives. We will commit to date night monthly. We will squeeze in one-on-one time with each of the children regularly. We will turn our devices to silent during meal times and family devotion. We will make going to church as a family a priority every Sunday. We will know we are successful when our children feel safe and loved.
As I went through my day today, this has been in the back of my mind. Did my mom need to write this down? No! Why do I? Because I have demonstrated to myself time and again my inability to learn to say no and put my own family first. I pray that you have no such issue. But if you do, please take a few minutes to think about what is most important in you life and write it out for yourself.
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