Learning to "Just Say No!"

I grew up in the 80's when we were taught to "Just Say No!" I didn't learn the lesson. No, I have not experimented with illegal substances. I just haven't learned to know my limits.

I have always wanted to make people happy. I have always wanted people to like me. And so I continually find myself in a situation where I have over promised and am afraid to under deliver. I am beginning to realize that when I do this, I am only hurting the people I want to help.

Yesterday, my devotion (Famous in Heaven and At Home by Michelle Meyrs) encouraged me to write a priority focus statement. Feeling rather overwhelmed last night, I did take time to do just that. This is kind of a personal thing, and I've debated sharing it, but I want you to be able to benefit from my mistakes, and so I am sharing it. (Fair warning, it's long.)

The spiritual and emotional well-being of my family is my top priority. I demonstrate this by being rooted in God's Word and prayer first-only then will I be able to let the Word of Christ dwell in me richly as I teach and admonish my children with all wisdom. I carry this out by being physically and mentally present and involved in the lives of my husband and children first. I will not allow financial gain or service to others outside my family come before the family God has give me. I will work when my children are sleeping or are in the care of another caregiver. I will prioritize time spent with my husband after my children are in bed and will only work when he is working. I will avoid using devices such as my phone and tablet for business or personal relaxation when I should be spending time with my family. I will know I am successfully prioritizing my family when they feel that I am engaged in their lives and when others notice my priority.

I will work to improve my marriage by consistently praying for Matt and his ministry, both in the classroom and through Revelation Sign Studio. I will respect his authority in our family and will be loving and romantic with him and will support him in whatever way he needs. I will know I am succeeding at this when we communicate calmly, laugh frequently and live faithfully to our marriage vows.

I will work with Matt to make sure that our children know that, after Jesus and each other, they are the most important people in our lives. We will commit to date night monthly. We will squeeze in one-on-one time with each of the children regularly. We will turn our devices to silent during meal times and family devotion. We will make going to church as a family a priority every Sunday. We will know we are successful when our children feel safe and loved.

As I went through my day today, this has been in the back of my mind. Did my mom need to write this down? No! Why do I? Because I have demonstrated to myself time and again my inability to learn to say no and put my own family first. I pray that you have no such issue. But if you do, please take a few minutes to think about what is most important in you life and write it out for yourself.