10. Water gets all
over the floor when your two-year-old decides to play peek-a-boo with you.
9. Someone always
knocks on the door just as you’re stepping out.
8. Your two-year-old reports to you, mid-shower, “Mom, I
said sorry to the baby after I hit him with the golf club.” (Don’t worry, it
was a plastic golf club.)
7. Your three-year-old parades in as you step out covered in
makeup from head to toe.
6. You are going so fast (to prevent any major catastrophe)
that you forget to shave one of your legs.
5. Cheerios.
Everywhere.
4. You emerge to find all three of your children in the baby’s
crib. And none were in the crib when you
got in.
3. Your helpful four-year-old brings reaches your phone into
the shower, saying, “Mom, it’s Grandma!”
2. “Mom, the baby is
stuck in the wall!”
1. Not showering makes it easier for your child to say, “Mom,
I thought I lost you. But then I sniffed
you out with my nose, like a dog.”
*Author’s Note: I cannot
take credit for all of these. However, I
have heard all of them said.
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