Blessings in Disguise

I just finished reading my Bible.  I’ve been a little lax lately in my personal Bible study.  And, God just whacked me over the head.  It’s amazing.

I opened my Bible to my new favorite Psalm—119.  I’ve been reading and praying through it, all though, I can’t really use the word “lately.”  It amazes me how positive this Psalm is even though it is obvious the writer is suffering.  One of the verses I just read is a prime example.  “It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.

And I realized how true this verse is to my life.  You see, before I was wallowing in the pits of postpartum depression, I was in the same place I am now.  I read the Bible with my husband at night before bed.  I read Bible stories with my kids.  I went to Bible study.  But I didn’t really have a personal connection with God through his word.

Then, at Christmas, my Mom gave me a book.  I really wasn’t looking for something more to do—I felt burdened under the weight of being a mom to three kids and a wife and a homemaker and a piano teacher and ….the list kept going.  I really just wanted to stay at my parents’ house and let them run my life for me again.  Instead, I read the book and was encouraged to start reading my Bible, praying through the Psalms.

At first, I felt strange, writing prayers based on the Psalms.  I couldn’t always make the writers’ feelings meld with mine.  But, the more I read, the easier it got.  And then, I embarked on a many-month journey.  It really shouldn’t have been, but I started reading Psalm 119 in March.  And I still haven’t made it all the way through.

And here’s why, I think.  I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, started taking medication, and it started working.  I’m feeling more and more like my old self every day.  This is really unfortunate because now I feel as though I don’t need to read the Bible as faithfully.  I’m not clinging to God’s promises in utter desperation, trying to survive the storms of life.  I’ve felt pretty good about how my life is going, and I haven’t kept up the good connection I need to God’s word.

But God threw another stumbling block my way.  And tonight I was led back to my Bible, back to my favorite Psalm.  And God reminded me why I need to be whacked over the head time and time again.  These afflictions keep me tied to Him, my Salvation.

Tonight my prayer is this: Father, forgive me.  Thank you for afflicting me.  Keep me true and close to you.  Amen.

Shock and Awe

Oldest vacuuming last week.

A few weeks ago, we were getting our house ready for company.  As I was sweeping the kitchen floor, I heard the closet door open.  I turned and watched in awe as my oldest son, without prompting, got out the vacuum, plugged it in, and started vacuuming the steps.  I obviously haven’t been expecting enough of him.

I probably shouldn’t have been that surprised, though.  My husband and I really feel that doing chores and helping out is just part of being a family.  We start almost as soon as they can walk—the kids help us pick up their toys.  We let them help us wash dishes, set the table, vacuum, sweep and wash the floor.  I figure, get them in the habit of helping while they’re actually excited to help.

But, there’s an even more important part of giving kids responsibility: it helps them feel important.  They know they are a contributing part of the family.

Middle helping out a few years ago.

Of course, as a mom, it requires some patience.  I have to let them learn to do the tasks on their own.  I can almost always do the job much faster, and in a better order, than they can.  But, if I let them work on a chore on their own, they take ownership and pride in their work.  And, they learn they can do something on their own.  (And, of course, eventually, I won’t even have to follow behind them, right?)

My challenge now is to find the tasks they are good at and give them over to each child.  My daughter seems to enjoy cooking with me and cleaning up the kitchen.  My oldest son loves to help his dad collect the trash and take it out to the street.  My baby is just learning what goes in each cabinet (by taking everything out of the cabinets, of course!).

I pray that I have the patience to continue to encourage my kids to learn to be independent, helpful members of our family.  One day, they can teach their kids, too.  (Thanks, Dad and Mom!!!)

Happy Mothers’ Day

My husband walked into our room last night and said, “We don’t deserve this.”  He had just checked on our children and was commenting on how blessed he felt to be their Dad.  I wasn’t feeling that exact sentiment at that point in time.  I was exhausted from chasing three kiddos around all day and was feeling a little sorry for myself for having to put up with their naughty behavior.

But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that my attitude should be much more like my husband’s.  I’ve shared with you many of the lessons I’ve learned from being a mother.  I’ve experienced so much joy at watching them grow.  And it’s a blessing to be able to share Jesus’ love with them every day.  In years past, I’ve felt somewhat neglected on Mothers’ Day.  I’ve allowed myself to wallow in a pool of self-pity because my husband has been busy with his job.  I’ve felt as though I deserve to be served and fawned over.  But in reality it’s a blessing just to get to be a Mom.

And God lets me continue to try to be a better Mom.  Not only that, he’s allowed me to have a wonderful day with my family.  I’ve been showered with hugs, kisses, I love you’s, gifts and beautiful weather.  My husband washed, dried and folded all five loads of laundry that needed to be done this weekend.  My big kids played with each other happily all afternoon.  And, yes, we had to confront and deal with sinful behavior, but that wasn’t the focus of the day.  Today I focused on all the blessings I am afforded just by being a Mom.

To all the many Moms in my life, a very happy Mothers’ Day.  May you continue to blessed in your walk.

Good Enough

I am a very good planner.  I love to make lists.  I’m even good at getting started on projects.  But, I am not always successful at finishing them.  Two things that come to mind in this area are my backyard and laundry.

Every spring, I see my backyard gardens (our landlady LOVES to garden) and I think, “This is the year.  I’m going to get all the weeds out and keep them out.”  I get started.  I’ve even made it around three of the four sides.  But without fail, the weeds come back before I can get all the way around and I feel defeated.  I give up.  August comes, and my backyard is overrun with morning glories and knee-high “volunteers”.  Bah.

Twice a week, I attempt to conquer the laundry in our house.  It’s my least favorite chore.  And so, when I’m done, I want to be all the way done.  (I’ve been known to tell my husband he has to put his clean pajamas on so I can wash the clothes he’s wearing.)  And yet, more often than not, the last load just doesn’t make it out of the dryer.  BAH!

Sometimes, these things make me feel like a failure.  And, truth be told, I am.  I fail miserably at all the tasks that I’m given.  I’ve never played the organ perfectly for church, I leave food on the counter over night, I forget to feed my kids (not for very long, as they are very good at whining when they’re hungry), and I don’t always respect my husband the way he deserves.

 I am thankful, though, that God helps me see my failures.  If I didn’t see them, I would start to think that I don’t need him.  God uses my failures to show me how much I need his perfections.  Here’s the stark contrast:  where I am all too often quite willing to say, “I give up!  That’s good enough,” God kept going until he could say, “It is finished.”

Last Wednesday, a miracle occurred in our house.  I got all of the laundry done in one day.  Of course, the next morning there was already more laundry to be done.  And don’t hold your breath for my backyard, either.  But, I know that for all my miserable failures, God came to my rescue!

Homesick

I’ve been homesick lately.  For all of you who know where I’m from (Minnesota), know what the weather is like there right now (snowy and cold), know where I live now (northern Virginia) and know what a wonderful spring we’ve been having, you may find that odd.  But, yes, my frozen friends and family, I miss you enough that, if I could, I would be right there with you, sludging through the endless winter you’re having.

There’s just something about being close to the ones you love, isn’t there?  Knowing that they’re there for you, no matter what the weather, outside or in your life, makes you feel special, loved and important.

Today, I was homesick for my church family.  My husband and I took our three kids to the church where our eldest son attends preschool.  We are quite pleased with the school—he is in a Christian environment, learning about God every day.  We appreciate his teachers—they are dedicated to serving their Lord and his little lambs.  Today, we enjoyed listening to the preschoolers sing praises to Jesus in church.  And we were welcomed by very caring Christians into their church.

But, as much as we like all those things, it still wasn’t home.  I missed praising God with my brothers and sisters in Christ who I’ve shared my life with.  They have been my family away from Minnesota for almost six years now.  They have rejoiced with me over the births of my three blessings from God.  They have encouraged me when I’ve struggled as a mom or a wife or a Christian.  And they’ve shared their personal blessings and struggles with me.

As we drove home after church today, my husband and I discussed what a blessing our church family is.  Today we heard God’s word read from the Bible and we heard the Pastor’s message encouraging us to take comfort in our Good Shepherd.  And yet, we missed confessing our sins to God and being assured of his forgiveness.  We realized how truly blessed we are to be part of a church family that realizes the importance of all of God’s word—that the gospel is not powerful without the law.

I pray that you had a blessed Sunday in the Lord.  I pray that you may enjoy the blessings of your family and friends, wherever they may be.  And I pray that you have opportunity to appreciate the blessings of your church family.