I Forgive You

I failed my children miserably today.  They didn’t take a nap during their nap time, which made them (and me) quite crabby.  After giving up the pretense of napping, they came downstairs and tried to play.  And so I thought I had a chance to “veg.”  One built a tent; the other pulled it apart.  One drove cars; the other stomped on the roads.  And then it really began.  They proceeded to bite, fight, hit, kick, scream and yell.  And instead of distracting them, separating them, putting them in time out, and talking to them about their sin, I yelled.  I let Satan work in my heart and I got mad.  So mad that I ended up in tears on the floor trying to pick up toys.

I sat there praying.  Perhaps that sounds noble, but my prayer was more of a pity party.  It was something like, “Dear God, help my children behave better.  I can’t do this anymore.  It’s too stressful.”

And then my youngest came out and said, “Mommy, are you crying?  I forgive you.”  Now, what she really meant was, “I’m sorry.”  She tends to get the two mixed up still.  But those words, “I forgive you,” are what I really needed to hear.  They made me realize that I truly had failed my children today.  They helped me see that, even more, I failed my God.  They led me to ask Him to forgive me.  And, even though they made me sob even harder for a minute, those words helped fill my heart with true joy.  God showed me how truly I am blessed through my children.

The Bible story that came to mind almost immediately was that of Jesus forgiving and healing the paralyzed man.  If you aren’t familiar with it, please read Mark 2:1-12.  I thought I needed children who were better behaved.  But, God knew I needed to see my need for a Savior and to know that He truly forgives me.

I’d like to say this is a one-time occurrence.  I’d like to say that it won’t happen again.  But I know it will, mostly because it has happened before (not quite as dramatically as it happened today).  And yet I have the comfort that God will forgive me for the many, many more times I will fail my children.  Thanks be to Him for his patience!