My Why

I'm tired. Physically, yes, a little. But I am more tired emotionally and, sadly, spiritually. I feel like I've been on autopilot lately, going through the motions of being a mom, a friend, a child of God. But I'm tired of being mediocre, of being lukewarm, of being tired.
Last night at our last women's Bible study for the school year, a friend said, "We should be in love with Jesus." Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I heard them and thought, "Yes. Yes I should. But I'm not."
It made me sad to think of how many times I have done extra for my husband because of all he does and sacrifices for our family, but I have an apathy toward my life with God. Last night, as I fell asleep, I told God that I wanted to be in love with him.
This morning my Bible reading was Psalm 63. It begins, "You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you..." It struck me that David was in love with God-head-over-heels. And I want to feel that way, too. Today, as I went through my day, my mantra was "I want to be in love with Jesus."
This afternoon, I was watching a Ted talk my coach asked me to view. It's about finding my "why." I felt so convicted by his words, and they weren't at all about being a Christian. But it hit me that I have been settling with mediocrity from myself lately, and it's showing in my relationship with my friends, my kids, my husband, and my Savior.
Part of my homework assignment for today is to come up with my "Why." As I have been thinking this through, struggling and praying, God has given me some clarity (that I only hope grows). Why do I want to do anything?
When I am head-over-heels in love with Jesus, I will be at peace. It's a wonderful feeling. I want other people, particularly other women, to feel that same peace. So, the first part of my why is that I want to have a platform to share Jesus' love with others.
As a coach, I will also be able to encourage other people as they use their bodies to glorify God. As much as I post a proof pic when I'm done working out, I don't really exercise to bring glory to my body. I exercise to be able to use my body to bring glory to God. When I am healthy and active, I am a much better mother: I can physically play with my kids and exercise provides a stress-relief for me that helps me be more peaceful in my interactions with my kids. So here is the other part of my why-sharing the walk through the encouragement of daily interactions around healthy actions.
I pray that I have the opportunity to share the walk with you!