I Want My Mommy

An often-heard phrase in our house lately has been, “Mommy, can you don’t leave?”  Ever since we had a few false alarms before our third child was born, my middle child has been nervous about her dad and I leaving in the middle of the night.  We reassure her, quite frequently, that we are here, and that, even when we aren’t, Jesus is with her all the time.

I remember when my parents came out to visit after our oldest was born.  They were here for a week, and the day they left, I sat sobbing in my rocking chair, holding my two-week-old son.  I wanted to scream, “Why did you go?  I don’t know what to do with a baby!  I need my Mommy!”  Instead, I composed myself (after a good, long cry), and got on with the job of learning to be a mommy myself.

If you’ve read any of my previous blogs, you realize that I am still in the LEARNING process.  It truly hit me again this week as we dropped my in-laws off at the airport after their week-long visit.  My husband asked them, right before we drove off, “What are we supposed to do now with three kids by ourselves?”  I completely agree with his sentiment.  Figuring out how to get everyone everywhere when they need to be there has been a challenge.  It was nice to have help at home for a week so I could make a quick run—really and truly!  (It’s amazing how freeing it feels to only take one kid out of the house!)

I know many of you have similar situations, living hundreds, or even thousands, of miles away from your family.  It’s hard for us because we feel that we are imposing on the people around us when we need to ask for help. (Being good Lutherans raised in the mid-west, we were taught to help others, but not need that same help ourselves.)  Plus, I have a hard time letting people in to my disheveled house, even if they are there to help me tidy up.

But, even more than the help, I miss seeing my kids interact with their grandparents.  Grandparents are great for lots of things, especially the things Mom and Dad can’t always give into.  And, grandparents are there for Mom and Dad, too, listening and chiming in with advice when necessary.

And so, I spent an evening earlier this week sitting on my sofa next to my husband, sobbing because I miss my family.  Right now, God has us where he wants us.  And, in my saner moments, I can even tell you some of the great things about living where we do (that’ll have to wait for a later post).  I know the old saying is true, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”